


Supernatural One Shots

by Id_flyifihad_wings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Give me ideas please, I'll add them in the summary, If there are more characters - Freeform, Multi, cuz I'm lazy, sad endings, since I don't want to add them all in the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-04-20 21:20:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4802600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Id_flyifihad_wings/pseuds/Id_flyifihad_wings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU's mostly. Usually inspired by vines or Instagram posts. Hope you enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Sam Can't Help Dean

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Sam can't find anyone to help with Dean's heart condition. Inspired by jarpad's vine

The day Dean found out he had a rare heart condition was the day Sam's world came crashing down around him, shattering and splitting at the seams. He hadn't been able to believe it, and yet here Dean was writhing on his floor having a seizure. 

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" 

"My brother's having a seizure!" Sam yells as soon as the lady answers. They'd sent out paramedics, and Sam had been able to hang up. The paramedics rush into Sam's tiny house, moving around and grabbing at Dean. 

Sam starts pacing as they strap him into the stretcher. He'd passed out, head lolling to the side as the hurry him outside and into the ambulance. 

They allow Sam to ride with them, and he is crying silently as they drive. The sirens screech their approach and the lights flicker inside the cab. 

Sam feels a few tears fall as the medics hook Dean up to an IV drip and heart monitor. He walks with them as they wheel him to a room, and sits in a chair outside as they check him out. 

When they had finished and Sam was granted access in the room, he doesn't go in. He doesn't want to see Dean hurting so much. 

It isn't until two hours later that he finally walks in. Dean is sitting up, turning his head to look over at him. 

"Sammy," Dean smiles slightly, a pained groan leaving his lips as the IV whirs with force. "You know how painful these things are?" he jokes, grimacing as he shifts. 

"No, I've never been hooked up to one," Sam says sadly. Dean frowns and looks over at the IV drip. 

"When we got in that wreck, you were hooked up to one. You were only five, so I wouldn't be surprised if you don't remember," Dean tells him softly. His face seems troubled, making Sam worry more than he should. 

"You ok?" he asks timidly. Dean nods easily, grinning widely. 

"I'm great, actually. A little tired, but great," Dean answers with a chuckle. Sam nods and moves to sit in the chair by his bed. 

"I'll call Bobby and everyone else tomorrow," Sam mumbles as he wipes at his eyes tiredly. Dean sighs, looking away to stare at the wall. 

"Cas too?" he asks so quietly, Sam almost doesn't hear him. 

"Of course, Dean. Always," Sam says back. Dean clears his throat before speaking. 

"Maybe we could see if he can come visit me?" Dean wonders, making Sam nod in agreement. 

"He'll agree when he knows what's happening," Sam whispers reassuringly. Dean and Castiel had been together, many years ago. They had a happy relationship, with minimal fights. Perhaps that had been the problem. They had been together for two years. 

Despite the good, Cas had left Dean after a particularly bad fight. Dean had called him a coward, Cas had shot back with dick. And then Dean told him to leave and never come back after Cas had punched him. So the guy left and hadn't seen Dean in 12 years, now. And Dean had just turned 35 this year. 

Sam always felt bad for his brother, because Dean pined and withered after Cas left. He came to live with Sam that same summer he left. 

Dean's breathing grew shaky as he thought of the man. "Bobby will be happy to see me," he changes the subject. 

"Yeah, he's missed you," Sam agrees happily. Dean smiles weakly, yawning as his eyes close and he turns away. 

"I'm gonna go ahead and sleep," Dean informs him as he shifts again. Sam doesn't answer, but he stands to head to the door. "Hey, Sammy?" he calls. 

"Yeah, Dean?" Sam whirls back to face him again. 

"You think his numbers still the same?" he asks quietly. Sam sighs gently and leans against the doorframe. 

"Yeah, I bet it is," Sam replies him with a smile. Dean grins and then closes his eyes again to sleep. Sam grabs his phone out and dials their mother's number. 

"Hey, Sam. How are you, sweetheart?" Mary answers in the first few rings. 

"Dean's in the hospital. He had a seizure," Sam says. He doesn't want to sugarcoat it, which meant Mary stays silent for a few minutes. 

"Oh, no. Is he ok? How is he doing?" she wonders quickly. Sam can hear her rummaging around, probably grabbing a pen and paper. "What hospital?" she adds. 

"He's better now, mom. We're at Sanford Medical Center, in Fargo, North Dakota," Sam sighs. He wonders silently how she is doing after John had passed away. 

John was Sam and Dean's father, and had passed away due to kidney failure last year. Neither of them had really talked to Mary since then. 

"Ok, honey. I'll be up there as soon as I can. Probably sometime tomorrow, have you called Bobby?" she questions.

"I was about to. I wanted to call you first," Sam breaths shakily. Mary calms him down by asking how he was and how Jess was doing in school. She asks about Gabriel, and how his dog was. 

"Ok, I'm gonna call Bobby, now. Love you," Sam interrupts her with a laugh. 

"Alright, baby. I'll see you soon," Mary hangs up and then Sam is dialing Bobby's number. He almost doesn't realize it's already 2:35 in the morning. 

"T'hell you callin' so damn early for, Sam?" Bobby wonders once he answers. 

"Hey, Bobby. Dean's in the hospital, at Sanford Medical Center. Fargo-" 

"North Dakota. I know, I ain't stupid," Bobby interjects. Sam smiles slightly and Bobby hangs up on him after saying he'd be there soon. Sam felt terrible for Bobby, mostly because he hardly ever slept anyway. 

He calls Ellen and Jo next. The phone rings a few times before a voice answers. "Harvelle's?" it was Jo, her groggy voice was so distinctive to Sam. 

"Hey, Jo! Is your mom with you?" he asks her. She calls her mother's name. 

"Yeah, she is now," Jo replies with a yawn. 

"What in the world, Sam Winchester? Are you outta your mind, callin' at 3 in the damn morning? You should be asleep," Ellen growls as she arrives by Jo's side. 

"I called about Dean. We're at Sanford Medical Center," Sam tells them. "Dean had a seizure," he adds sadly. 

"Son of a bitch. We'll be there tomorrow," Ellen says before Jo can speak. "Joanne Beth, go pack some clothes," she orders and Sam can make out Jo's sigh as she walks off. 

"Thanks, Ellen," Sam tells her. 

"Don't mention it, Sam. You called Bobby?" she asks. 

"Yeah, I did. He's heading up pretty soon, actually. Be safe," Sam tells her. The click of the receiver signals her departure and Sam pulls the phone away from his ear. He scrolls through his contacts until he gets to Castiel's name. 

Sam hesitantly presses the call button and raises the phone back to his ear. It rings for a while, and then finally someone answers. "May I ask who this is?" the voice was deep, raspy, just like Sam remembered. 

"Castiel?" Sam asks softly. "This is Sam, Sam Winchester. Dean Winchester's brother," he adds. 

"Sam? Well then, hello, I have not seen you in many years. Why are you only calling now?" Cas wonders, his voice slightly hopeful. 

"It's Dean. He's in the hospital in Fargo, North Dakota. Sanford Medical Center," Sam informs him. Sam can hear the sharp intake of breath from him. When he and Dean were together, they'd lived in Lawrence, Kansas still. 

"I am deeply sorry to hear that, but if I may ask, what does that have to do with me?" Castiel sighs out his reply. 

"Dean's in the hospital, Cas. He wanted me to call you, so I did. He wondered if maybe you would come see him," Sam answers.

"I am not completely sure I will be able. I am attending a university near Naples, Florida. And I have not seen Dean in over a decade, I am not sure he would be happy to see me," Cas's voice was tired. 

"No, he asked this. He wants to see you, Cas," Sam pleads with him now. 

"You do not understand, Sam. I am not who I was back then, I am not the same," Castiel tells him quickly.

"Cas, you cannot leave him! He doesn't give a crap what you look like or anything. He doesn't care if you've changed because, hell, he has too!" Sam exclaims angrily. 

"I will see what I can do, Sam. But I make no promises," Cas finally agrees. Sam breaths out a sigh of relief and hangs up. He dials Gabriel's number, hoping he was home. 

"Samsquatch, what's up buddy?" Gabriel answers, making Sam smile.

"Hey, Jess with you?" he asked. At Gabriel's grunt of yes, Sam continues. "Come to Sanford Medical Center, Fargo, North Dakota." 

"Alright, done. We're in Moab right now, be there tomorrow sometime," Gabriel tells him, no questions asked. That's why Sam liked him so much. 

"Thanks, babe. Tell Jess I said hi," Sam says with a grin. "Do you have J with you?" Sam asks before Gabriel can hang up. 

"Yeah, he's chilling with his head out the window. He'll be coming too, I've got his work dog outfit with us," Gabriel says, and Sam can hear the smile in his voice. 

"Look at you, being prepared for once," Sam teases. "Love you," he adds before ending the call. He sighs and leans against the door. 

He finally goes to sit down in a chair, and ends up falling asleep.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The next morning Bobby wakes him up, shaking his shoulders. 

"Bobby, hey," Sam greets tiredly as he stands up. Bobby hugs him, clapping his back. 

"Would've been here sooner, but I needed a few extra hours of sleep," he tells him. Sam nods and glances back at Dean's door. 

"Look, Sammy. You know this ain't gonna get fixed, right? What Dean has ain't in no textbook. The doctors ain't gonna be able to help, 'cept to ease his passin,' you gotta know that," Bobby tells him softly. 

Sam nods slightly, chuckling wryly. "Yeah, Bobby, but a guy can dream. I have to believe that Dean can fight through this and win," he answers quietly. 

"Sammy, this ain't a fight he'll be winnin.' This ain't gonna be a fight at all, it's gonna be a mighty depressin' defeat, got it? Ain't no room for you fillin' Dean's heart with false hope," Bobby says in a dark voice. Sam felt tears fill his eyes, and he shifts his gaze to the floor.

He nods again, finally looking back up at Bobby, looking like a hurt puppy dog. Bobby stays quiet as Sam turns away and sniffles, more tears falling. 

"I just don't want to lose him, Bobby," Sam whispers morosely. Bobby takes Sam's shoulder, turning him to face him and pulling him into a hug. 

"Don't cry, Sam. It'll be alright. I ain't sayin' Dean'll make a full recovery, but you won't be losin' him. He'll be with us, through everything. And he'd want you to be happy with Gabriel and Jess, and Ellen and Jo, and I, alright? Ain't no cryin' over this," Bobby reassures him. Sam hugs him tightly, burying his face in Bobby's jacket. 

Ellen and Jo arrive next. They scurry in quickly, hugging on Sam and Bobby and then moving to see Dean in his room. He was still sleeping, the morphine making him stay out much longer than usual. 

When Dean finally wakes up, Mary has arrived and is already talking to the doctor. Asking about Dean's disease, and wondering if there was anything to help him fight it. 

"Hey, Dean. How're you doing?" Jo asks as she comes to sit on the bed next to him. Dean smiles at her, sighing softly as she ran a hand through his hair to fix it. 

"Good. Better when Gabriel and Jess get here, I miss them," Dean tells her. Jo chuckles, rolling her eyes. 

"God, Dean. You're pathetic," Sam speaks up, making Jo laugh as Dean glares at him. Sam shrugs, smiling widely. 

"Yeah, whatever. Shut up, you little bitch," Dean growls at him, a smirk on his face. 

"Don't be a jerk," Sam shot back with a grin. Ellen walks in, Bobby right behind her. 

"Alright, boys. Ellen and I are headin' out to eat something. We'll see y'all later today," Bobby says as he sets a hand on Ellen's back. 

"Ew, keep it PG in my presence, please," Jo gags, sticking her tongue out and scrunching her face in disgust. 

"Joanna Beth Harvelle," Ellen rolls her eyes and sighs as she and Bobby turn to leave. 

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Jo calls, making Ellen flip her off. 

"There ain't anything you wouldn't do, Jo," Bobby spoke up. Jo shrugs and grins.

"Exactly," she shoots back. Ellen grabs Bobby's hand and pulls him quickly out of the room. 

"Any idea when Gabriel and Jess are getting here?" Dean wonders. Sam grabs his phone and checks it. 

"Gabriel says their about 20 minutes away now," he tells him. Dean nods happily and sighs as Jo stands and starts moving around the room. 

"Did you call...Cas?" she asks. Dean perks up at the mention of the guy's name.

"Yeah I did. Same number. He's in Florida, actually. He said he'd try and make it up here," Sam says. Jo rolls her eyes, hiding the anger on her face pretty well. 

"Try? That's it? Damn. You'd think he'd be a bit more adamant about seeing him," Jo mutters bitterly. Sam raises an eyebrow. He knew Jo had been lusting after Dean for as long as he'd been pining after Cas, maybe longer. 

"Cas'll make it," Dean pipes up, making Jo even angrier. 

"And if he doesn't? Then what'll you do?" she snapped, causing Dean's eyes to widen slightly. 

"There's no maybe, Jo. He's coming," Dean retorts spitefully. Jo walks up to the side of his bed and slaps him. 

"He's not coming! He hasn't spoken to you in years, Dean! Years, dammit! Why can't you open your eyes and see that he's not coming back and that there are better people for you!?" Jo exclaims, looking hurt.

"Like you? Are you better for me? You don't get it, Jo! There's no one better for me than him, that's why we lasted so damn long!" Dean shoots back, glaring at her. 

"Whatever. I'm done," Jo growls as she heads to the door. Just as she opens it Gabriel and Jess appear. 

"Joanna Beth!" Jess exclaims happily, pulling her into a hug. Gabriel moves past them to Sam. Sam hugs him tightly, kissing his forehead with a wide smile. 

"Ew, don't put your germs on me," Gabriel jokes as he wipes at where Sam had planted his lips. "I missed you," he adds happily as he leans up on his tiptoes and gives him a quick kiss.

"I missed you too," Sam agrees with a wide smile.

"Sam!" Jess greets him with a tight hug. Sam returns it with a grin. 

"Where's J?" Sam asks as he pulls away. Gabriel whistles and J comes bouncing in, his golden fur flowing and his floppy ears flinging across his face. He jumped up at Sam happily, his tail wagging frantically. 

Sam chuckles and rubs at J's ears with a wide smile. "Hey, buddy! I've missed you, hopefully Gabriel's been feeding you," he teases as J circles around him. 

"Probably a bit too much," Jess speaks up, making Sam laugh. J calms down then, sitting down on the floor and panting softly. 

Dean sighs as Jess takes J to go walking around the hospital. Gabriel stays with Sam and Dean, cracking jokes and lifting all of their moods. Sam stands, motioning for Gabriel to stay as he leaves the room. 

"Hey, doctor!" Sam calls as the doctor passes him. He turns back to him, his taut face looking tired as he seems to sneer down at him. 

"Yes?" he asks softly. 

"I was just wondering if there is anything you can do to help my brother," Sam wonders. He glances at the doctors name tag. 

"Your brother's condition is rare, I am afraid. There is nothing I will be able to do that will allow him to be helped. I am sorry, but there is truly no helping him," he answers gently. 

"No, you can give a transplant or something, right?" Sam questions frantically. 

"No, I cannot do that. I am deeply sorry, but there is nothing to be done for him," the doctor tells him. 

"There has to be something! You can't just let him die like that! He has a life, and friends that care about him!" Sam exclaims sadly. 

"You must think of what is best for him. He is suffering now, and there is nothing I can do except help ease his pain and make the passing a bit easier. There is nothing to be done," he replies. 

"Bullcrap! You think dying is best for him!?" Sam yells, his voice breaking. 

"You are being selfish. Can you not see that? He is in immense pain, something you simply cannot comprehend unless you go through it as well. He has three days, at most," the doctor says. Sam doesn't like how emotionless this doctor seems. 

The doctor leaves then, Sam's mind trying to grasp the fact that he was going to lose Dean soon. This was something he had wanted to avoid, yet it was reaching closer and closer to them.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Two days pass with no word from Castiel. Gabriel and Jess had left, as had Jo and Ellen. Dean now only had Sam and Bobby and Mary left to talk to. And now Bobby is getting ready to leave.

Dean had deteriorated quickly in those two days. He could barely breath, and his skin was now a bleak gray due to the weakness of his heart. Not to mention how skinny he had become, his cheekbones protruding sharply from his face and his jawline too prominent now. 

His wrists were tiny, and Sam almost couldn't look at him without wanting to cry. When Bobby finally leaves, Dean hugs him as tightly as he can. 

"I'll miss you Bobby," Dean whispers sadly. 

"I'll see you next time," Bobby tells him. Dean nods and smiles meekly, watching Bobby walk out of the room. Sam sits beside him, a defeated sigh leaving his body.

"Today's the day, Sam," Dean breaks the heavy silence with his tinny words.

"What do you mean?" Sam asks softly. Dean looks over at him, his hair rustling against the pillow.

"It's the third day. I heard what the doctor said to you. Today's the day. Jo was right, Sammy. Cas was never coming," Dean says, a smile on his face despite the heartache in his voice. 

"He'll come, Dean. He will," Sam reassures him. Dean nods slightly, though he doesn't believe him. Sam pats his hand gently, but Dean pulls away from the touch. 

"I'm leaving you today, Sam," Dean whispers sadly. Sam stands and shakes his head slightly. 

"I have to go get some food, alright? I'll be back," Sam tells him quietly. Dean nods and then Sam leaves, getting into the Impala and speeding away from the hospital. He pulls up at his house, sobbing now and setting his head down on the steering wheel as he cries his sorrows. 

When he finally calms down enough to go inside and grab a bag to stuff food in, his phone rings. 

"Hello?" he asks, sniffling quietly. 

"Sam I am calling to say I am driving up there right now. I was able to get out of my lectures today as well as tomorrow's," Cas's gravelly voice seems to echo in Sam's head. He was over a day away. 

"Thank you, Cas. I'll tell him, thank you so much," Sam cries happily, collapsing in a chair at his table. When Cas and he end the call, he spreads a few papers over the table. 

He dials the first one, getting Rufus's voicemail. "Hello, Dr. Rufus? This is Sam Winchester, I was just calling to ask if there was anything you could for heart conditions? I know you specialize in rare cases, and my friend Bobby gave me your number. So, uhm, call me back when- when you get the chance, thanks," Sam hangs up and then grabs another paper. 

He calls the number, and waits for the answer. Like Rufus, he gets the voicemail. "Yes, hi, this is Sam Winchester calling about my brother. He has a rare heart disease and I was just wondering if there was anything you may be able to do? Call me back when you can Dr. Milton, thank you," he hangs up. 

Sam sighs, running hand down his face as he tries more and more all with the same outcome. None of the doctors answer their phone, leaving him in more tears when he finally finishes. None of them would be able to help, he was sure. It isn't that he doesn't trust Dr. D, but after all that has happened he has to have some hope Dean could win. 

Sam ends up driving back to the hospital with a small bag of food for himself, and a patient phone waiting for calls from people who can't help. When he enters the hospital with his bag of food, heading back to Dean's room when he runs into someone. 

"Sorry, God, I'm so sorry, are you ok?" Sam asks helping her up with an apologetic smile. She looks up at him and nods. 

"I'm fine, no need to worry about me. I wasnae paying attention to where I was going," the woman tells him, her Scottish accent so thick Sam could hardly make out what she is saying. "You're the Winchester, right? I've heard about you from the doctor," she says. 

"Yeah, it's Sam. And you are?" Sam asks politely. He doesn't like the fact that this girl knew who he was and how his brother was. 

"Its Rowena. But you can call me Dr. McCloud," she tells him. Sam gulps slightly, grinning nervously. 

"Dr McCloud? I called you earlier," Sam says hopefully, and watches as Rowena nods. 

"Indeed you did, Sam. Unfortunately I came only to tell the doctor about one of my own cases, I cannae help your brother. There is nothing I can do, and no doctor can help, I'm afraid," Rowena tells him gently. Sam gives her a silent sigh, nodding as she turns to walk away. 

This was the second doctor who had told him there was nothing to be done. He just couldn't believe that. 

He heads to Dean's room, the bag of food in his hand. He opens the door to Dean's room, seeing Mary smiling down at him. 

"Oh, Dean, you've always had such a wonderful sense of humor," Mary teases, setting her hand over his own. He smiles weakly, panting softly as he tries to catch his breath. 

"Hey, Sammy," Dean calls, his voice raspy and hollow. Sam grins as he sets the food down at the foot of his bed. 

"Hey, man. How're you doing?" he asks flatly. Dean doesn't seem to notice the lack of emotion in Sam's voice.

"I'm doing good. You heard from Cas?" Dean wonders, looking curious. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, but Sam could see the underlying hope. 

"Yeah, I did, actually. I mean, he's gonna come up. He'll be here tomorrow," Sam says, a smile growing on Dean's face until the last part. And then his smile falls and he's looking away.

"Tomorrow. Yeah, ok," Dean whispers softly. Mary glances over at Sam with a sad look, and then turns back to Dean to run her hands through his hair. 

"He'll be here, sweetie. When you wake up he'll be here," Mary reassures him. Sam nods in agreement, plastering a fake grin onto his lips. 

"If I wake up," Dean mumbles sadly. Mary doesn't answer, and Sam stays quiet too. Dean sniffles softly, rolling gingerly onto his side to face away from them. Sam catches the raspy intake of Dean's air as he tries desperately to regain his breath. 

Mary stands then, coming to a halt by Sam's side. "Did Cas really call?" she asks gently. 

"Yeah, he did. He said sometime tomorrow. I mean, he's over a day away, so it'll take a while, you know?" Sam tells her. Mary nods and smiles happily.

"It'll be good for him to see him, he's been so angry lately. It seems he's only happy when Castiel is brought up," she whispers in awe. Sam sighs softly as he looks down at her with a slight frown.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
That night, Dean got worse. He was set up to an oxygen mask to help with his breathing, and his morphine dose was upped again. Mary had left a few hours ago now, unable to watch Dean get worse and worse. Summer gave way to autumn in the three days 

Sam's phone rang as he is pacing outside the door. He grabs it answers. "Hello?" 

"This Sam Winchester?" a snarky, clear voice breaking his concentration. 

"Yes, this is he," Sam replies softly.

"This is Rufus. You called me about you brother. Look, I ain't gonna sugarcoat it son, there ain't nothing you can do to help your brother. He's gone, and there ain't no way to bring him back, alright? You a damn fool if you believe he can be saved," he growls out. 

Sam hangs up before Rufus gets any farther. He can't handle the negative, from all sides. 'He can't be saved, it's not a fight he can win.' Constant in Sam's mind.

Sam sits down in the chair outside Dean's door, his eyes heavy. He had been up for over a day now, taking care of Dean and calling doctors and figuring everything out. 

Sam eventually walks in to stay with Dean. Dean was asleep, his chest rising and falling in a stuttering rhythm. Sam sighs softly as he sits in the chair by the window. Cars pull out and drive in, and he finds it depressing to know that the world moves on despite the loss.

It was quiet in the room, save Dean's oxygen tank pumping life into him and the unsteady beeping of the heart monitor. His eyes droop as he leans back in the chair, and then he's awake because the heart monitor is beeping rapidly and Dean's breathing turns erratic. 

"Dean?" Sam asks as he stands up, eyes wide. He can hear rushing feet down the hall and he walks up to his brother. "Dean! Come on, man, you gotta fight this!" Sam pleads, setting his hand on Dean's shoulder. Sam feels tears fill his eyes as he shakes Dean, trying desperately to wake him.

The heart monitor was still picking up to a seemingly impossible rate, and nurses file in, pushing him toward the door. "Stay back!" they exclaim as they set up the defibrillator. Dean's breathing has stopped, and the heart monitor screeches out the flatline that doesn't register in Sam's head. 

"Clear!" Sam's eyes blink once as they clamp the defibrillator down on his chest. Dean rises up with the shock, but the heart monitor continues with the flatline. Sam's eyes widen as they try again and again, no longer able to watch calmly. 

Tears flow from his eyes as the nurses pull away after seven minutes. "Call it," the doctor speaks up. Sam sobs as he turns away, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the waterfall of tears racing down his face. 

"September 21st, 11:57 pm," one of the nurses recites. Dean's eyes stare unblinking at the ceiling when Sam turns back, the nurses taking out the IV, the heart monitor, the oxygen tank and mask. Dean had almost made it to tomorrow. He'd been so close. Tomorrow was the anniversary of when Cas had left Dean.

Sam can hear the rustle of the sheet as they cover Dean's body. He didn't want to think about how close he'd been. He'd been so close.

And yet so far. Sam collapses in the chair outside Dean's room, rubbing at his eyes as he sobs into them. His sobs carry down the hallway, drawing attention of some of the other nurses. 

It wasn't until his phone rang two hours later that he finally runs out of tears to cry. He answers with a heavy sigh. 

"Dr. Milton here. I'm calling to tell you that-"

"It doesn't matter anymore," Sam interrupts her and then hangs up without another word. He puts his head back on the chair, closing his eyes. 

After another hour of waiting around in the hospital for the nurses to bring him the official report Castiel rushes in, eyes wide. 

"Sam! I came as fast as I was able. May I see him?" Cas asks, panting softly as he runs a hand through his messy hair. 

"No," Sam tells him flatly. Cas looks taken aback by the answer. 

"Isn't that why you called me?" Cas wonders softly. Sam nods, smiling wryly as he stands up. Cas looks so different. His messy hair was the same, and those striking blue eyes. But he no longer wore his glasses, and he no longer had the rounded baby face. His jawline was almost as perfect as Dean's had been, and the scruff covering his mouth and neck suited him well. 

Not to mention the dirty, beige trench coat and suit and bright blue tie he wore. 

"Yeah, that's why I called you," Sam agrees quietly. 

"Then why can I not see him?" Castiel shoots back, tilting his head slightly. 

"He's gone. He passed away three hours ago," Sam finally tells him. He doesn't expect the tears Cas's eyes spill, or the broken sob that escapes the man's mouth. 

Sam stands there silently, watching Castiel sobs his eyes out, falling to his knees in the middle of the hospital floor. Sam kneels by him, pulling him close.

"It's my fault, Sam," Cas cries, squeezing Sam's arms so hard, he knew Cas would leave bruises. Sam hushes him, rubbing his back gently. "I shouldn't have left him, I never should have left him," he adds, his voice shaky and breaking on almost every word.

"Cas, it's not your fault. It's not your fault, it's ok," Sam reassures him tenderly. Cas shakes his head, tears still falling. His breathing grew erratic as he sobs harder, digging his head into Sam's chest.

"I left him and he's dead, I didn't even get to say goodbye to him... I didn't get to see him for 12 years and now he's gone and he left hating me!" Cas exclaims. Sam sighs softly, not knowing what to say to comfort him. 

Sam lets him cry on him, not caring if the nurses look their way or not. Cas is hurting, and Sam is going to help him through it. "I-I came for nothing," he says through his sobs. 

Sam can't get over how broken and desperate Castiel sounds. It wasn't like him to be so emotional, even with Dean he hadn't been. Which was part of the reason they got into any fights at all.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Life went on. There were good days, like when Jess and Jo finally got married or when Bobby and Ellen announced their baby. There were bad days, like when J passed away in his slumber or the time Gabriel and Sam had a falling out. 

Castiel resumed his studies in Florida, and graduated as valedictorian of his class. He went on to become a famous writer, with his poetry and music. 

Jo and Jess moved to Michigan and opened a business there. Bobby and Ellen worked at Harvelle's together. And Sam and Gabriel had a healthy relationship, until the day Sam woke up having nightmare.

He left Gabriel, after the fight. He left him for seven years, and then he got a call. "Sam? This is Michael. I'm Gabriel's brother. He wanted me to call you."


	2. In Which Crowley Feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short one shot, but I thought it was a really cute one. Crowley and Team Free Will's deaths

After all they had faced, all the demons and shapeshifters and tulpas and vampires and werewolves and leviathans and gods and archangels and darkness, here they were. In the cold of winter, which had just started a week ago, here they were.

Sam and Dean Winchester. And Castiel with them. Crowley sighed as he looked down at all three. Valiant deaths, they'd been. 

Sam had gone out when seven of them had rushed him at the same time. Several holding him down, others stabbing him straight through the forehead and heart. He fell first, fighting as much as he could against the enemies to get free to no avail. A brave death, and one that would be seared in Crowley's mind forever.

Castiel went next. Dean did everything to protect the angel, and Cas fell as Dean slipped. The angel had turned to help, an angel sword rammed clear through his stomach, his mouth open in a piercing scream as Dean rushed up and yelled, "I love you, Cas!" and then the angel's wings had been burnt straight into Dean's skin as he burst into a bright blue light. A fearless death, and one Crowley would never forget. 

Dean fell last, still fighting even as he cried for Castiel. The burns marring his body bloodying his shirt as he continued. He wasn't just fighting for himself, he was fighting for his brother and his angel and the other friends he'd lost. Ash, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Charlie, Martin, Benny, Mary, John, Kevin, Gadreel, Adam, Jess, Sarah, Samandriel, Rufus, Pamela, Frank, Rudy, Travis, and countless others. 

Dean fought bravely, not giving a single inch until his steps faltered. He grew weary and weak before he was ready to stop fighting. And still more and more came. Dean fell to the ground, breathing ragged and then they were in him. He'd always said he'd die at the end of a blade or the barrel of a gun. 

And blades were all around him and he welcomed them. A loyal death, one Crowley would always remember.

So the boys and the angel lay side by side. Sam and Dean on either side of Castiel's outstretched wings, as if he were cradling them, even in the afterlife. They had always wanted to die together, and now they did. Their wish had come true.

They would forever be remembered in this world as the boys who'd saved the world a few times. The boys who never stayed long enough for thanks, and the boys who would do anything to protect each other and their friends and family.

But Crowley would live on, even without them. Despite the fact he was a demon, he stood over their graves as the sermon was given. Only a three people had shown up. All supernatural beings. Gabriel and Chuck and himself. That was all that was left of their family now.

Team Free Will was no longer spreading the choice of free will. And yet the world would go on without them, despite the many other cases that would continue to happen due to the simple fact they weren't there to stop them. 

The angel who'd fallen for a human and nearly demolished the world himself. A hunter who's only wish was to have someone be proud of him and see him for who he truly was. And a boy who just wanted to be normal, only succeeding in his death. Team Free Will finally fallen and gone.

Soon their story would be forgotten, and people would move on with their lives. But there would be some who would always remember the three who'd come into their lives and saved them. There would be a few who would never forget. Crowley considered himself one of them.

Once the sermon ended, Chuck and Gabriel stayed a bit longer. Watching as others lit the fires for their hunter burials. No questions had been asked about what had happened to any of the three. Chuck left first, and Gabriel followed shortly after.

Crowley stayed. He stayed even as the last ounces of coal were just hissing in the growing cold. He stayed even as snow began to fall as winter finally set in officially. He still had his glass of whiskey, sighing softly as he stared disinterestedly at the smoke rising in clouds into the sky. He stayed well into the night.

He glanced down at the ice in his drink, turning his back on the three burning bodies. "Moose, squirrel, and wings; you were damn good pains in my ass," he finally spoke. He raised his drink and finished the last sip. 

And then Crowley walked away, knowing every step he took brought him closer to the knew era. The new age of hunters that Sam and Dean had left behind to fend for themselves. 

Castiel would get to see them in heaven. He'd still be with them. In that moment Crowley wished for the first time in his life to be an angel. If only to see them one last time and say his goodbyes. To tell them he might have actually cared about them. That he might actually have liked them. 

And he vowed that one day he would see all three of them again somehow. Somehow, he'd see his friends again.

Inspired by supernatural.loyal.fans Instagram post


	3. In Which Sam Still Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where Gabriel was just telling Sam about the future, and Dean shows up by he still goes.

Sam would never have thought it would happen. He thought the mark of Cain would stay on Dean's arm forever. After everything they'd been through, Dean had finally broke. Through all of the years of staying strong and fighting, Dean had finally gone off the edge. 

And just when he thought it would get worse and Dean was about to kill him, the mark came off. They had saved his brother, and that made him smile. But he hadn't expected the darkness to arrive so soon. 

The brothers raced to the Impala, the cloud of smoke rushing toward them in a huge wave. Sam and Dean got in and closed the doors, panting and looking at each other with worry. Dean started the car and pulled away, but the Impala's tire ended up getting stuck in a pothole filled with mud. 

Dean opened the door and poked his head out, glaring at the tire as it spun uselessly in the muck. He faintly heard Sam calling his name over the pounding in his ears. He looked up to see the cloud closing in. Dean quickly closed the door, looking over at Sam. 

The smoke snaked over them, casting them into complete darkness. "Saaaaam!" Dean's voice yelling his name was the last thing Sam heard before he was waking up. 

He looked around, realizing he was still in his room at Stanford. Jess was still asleep, and as he looked up he noticed a figure in the corner. He realized it was that archangel, Gabriel was it? that he and Dean had met in his dream. 

"So, Sammy. There you have it. That's what'll happen if you go off with Dean. You'll lose everything, including him." Gabriel said, walking up with his arms crossed and a smug grin on his face. 

"What the hell was that?" Sam asked in confusion. Gabriel sighed heavily, rolling his golden eyes.

"That was me showing you the future. You're welcome. Geez, you could show a little gratitude or something. I just saved you from that horrible ending. I mean, what a way to go out, huh? Darkness? Laaame." Gabriel told him, biting sarcasm in his tone. 

"The future? So that will actually happen in real life?" Sam wondered cluelessly. Gabriel uncrossed his arms and nodded. 

"How many times do we have to go over it before it sticks in that big brain of yours?" the archangel said. 

"When is Dean coming? I have to be able to tell him no, I can't lose Jess. Or this, or even him." Sam said, standing up and going to stand right in front of Gabriel. 

"A week, maybe less. Can't tell you exactly, that'll ruin the surprise." Gabriel said, his eyebrows wiggling as he smirked. 

"Gabriel! Come on, I need to know!" Sam exclaimed softly. They stayed quiet as Jess shifted in her sleep. 

"Sorry, gigantor, can't. It'll change the future if I do." Gabriel finally answered, shrugging. 

"Bull! Doesn't it change the further just showing it to me?" Sam questioned. Gabriel sighed again. 

"Not really. A few things here and there, but nothing major. Plus, I could always wipe your memory of me ever showing it to you. Woah, that was sexual." Gabriel chuckled at his own joke. 

Sam snorted, shaking his head and crossing his arms. "Come on, man. I mean, I am the one you decided to tell in the first place, you know?" he pointed out. 

Gabriel shrugged again, looking innocent. "I can't, Sam. It will alter the future too much, and as much as I don't care about it- I mean, I do die- I don't want it to change too much for you and Dean. And that's just if you say yes." he continued explaining about it. 

"Ok, fine, whatever. I just won't say yes." Sam told him, making Gabriel frown and give him a sad look. But he nodded and then disappeared with a rustle of wings and a gust of wind. 

"Sam? What're you doing up? Come back to bed." Jess mumbled as she craned her head to look at him. Sam crawled in beside her, pulling her close and closing his eyes. Tomorrow was Halloween, which meant going to some party with Jess. 

He hated Halloween, because as a kid every day was Halloween for him. Hunting ghosts and things wasn't easy, which is why he got out of that life.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Sam!" Jess called as she came around the corner, wearing a nurse outfit and fixing her cap. "Get a move on, would you? We were supposed to be there like 15 minutes ago." she added. She walks off, messing with an earring. "Sam!" she called again. "You coming or what?" 

Sam peeked around the corner, looking smug. "Do I have to?" he asked sadly. 

"Yes! It'll be fun." Jess told him, turning to look as he walked into the room. "And where is your costume?" she asked. Sam laughs softly, dropping his head with shame. 

"You know how I feel about Halloween." he told her. Jess rolled her eyes, smiling as they headed to the door. The party wasn't as fun as Jess made it out to be, but Sam didn't mind. He got to spend time with her and that was all that mattered. 

When they arrived back home and went to slept, Sam didn't expect the clatter of his window opening to wake him. He stood up and went to the kitchen. He stopped just around the corner, peeking and then the figure stepped in.

Sam lunged forward, taking the man by surprise as he instinctively threw a blow to Sam's face. Sam ducked out of the way in time, but the other guy grabbed his arm and shoved him back into a different room. 

Sam kicked out, but it was blocked and he earned an elbow to the face. Sam quickly kicked out at the guys face, but he ducked and swung a blow. Sam managed to block it and then Sam was pinned on the floor. 

"Woah, easy, tiger." a familiar voice reached Sam's ears. 

"Dean?" Sam asked in disbelief. Gabriel had said he'd had a week, it hadn't even been a day. Not even a day, and yet here Dean was. Dean laughed, looking down at Sam. "You scared the crap outta me." he lied. 

"That's 'cause you're outta practice." Dean shot back. Sam grabbed one of Dean's hands, slamming his foot into his back and flipping them over. "Or not." he joked. 

Sam patted his shoulder, making Dean frown. "Get off me." he growled. Sam got to his feet, pulling up Dean. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked, even though he already knew what he'd say. 

"Well, I was looking for a beer." he said, brushing at Sam's shoulders as he did. As they talked, Jess came out, looking groggy. Dean had of course, been a pig as usual. It was nothing Sam couldn't handle.

"Dad's on a hunting trip. And hasn't been home in a few days." Dean finally spoke the line that had changed Sam's life for the worse. 

Sam sent Jess away, he didn't want her to see them fight. Sam couldn't say yes, he wanted to help his brother, but this seemed a bit much. 

Sam looked his brother straight in the eyes before answering. "How can I help?" he asked. Nothing was worth losing his brother. Not his college, not his friends, not even Jess. Dean was all he had left, and for once he didn't care. 

And life was good hunting and fighting with Dean. Right until they end, they stayed together through it all. And Sam hoped they'd go back to how they were; happy, content, somewhat worry free. But the life a hunter wasn't those things. And Sam was happy.


	4. In Which They're Monsters

It's almost midnight now, but he doesn't seem to mind the chirping crickets or the seemingly silent night. In fact, he doesn't even seem to care that the man behind him had just pulled out a gun, the clicking metal saying he'd cocked the hammer. 

"By all means, shoot me. I won't mind, but my little brother and the other guy who've been tailin' you the whole time would sure be pissed off," he said. 

The gun that had been poised at his head was lowered. "There's three of ya'?" There was a gulp as he turned around to find a rotund man with a beaten ball cap on. 

Rusty red-brown beard with a few stray strands of grey sprouting through. Brown dopey eyes. And the signature southern Texan accent. Dark bags under his eyes revealed little sleep and nights full of bad dreams.

"Three here now. There's many more of us back home," he answered smugly. The man uncocked his gun as his eyes narrowed. 

"You don't usually travel in a pack," the guy said. 

"Who're you to say I don't travel in packs. Just because lore states werewolves are solitary, doesn't mean we have to be. Hell, my little brother and I are workin' with a shapeshifter. What's it to you?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"'Cuz I'm the one that's been sent here t'drag your asses back to the pit you rose outta in the first place. I'm the one that's gonna send you all packin',"the man growled in a gruff voice. 

"I highly doubt that. In fact, I'm fairly certain you're gonna be the one runnin' back to where you're from. And I'm gonna be so nose deep in your blood, you won't even be able to do anything but watch.," the werewolf snarled harshly, taking a small step closer to the man.

"You're not Dean Winchester. Not anymore," the gruff voice cracked with raw emotion. 

"I never was, man. 'Specially not now. I mean, come on, look at me, Bobby. I'm all wolf now, and you just can't stand the fact that you're gonna hafta kill me," Dean, taking another step forward as Bobby went back, said bitterly. 

"Shut your yap, boy. I ain't gonna kill ya', not now, not ever. I don't give a damn what that means for me, but I ain't killin' you. So either get outta my sight, or kill me. Those're your only options right about now." Bobby was glaring at him now, his fists balled into tight globs of frustration and pain. 

Dean felt an inkling of something akin to disgust race through his mind at the thought of killing Bobby, who had been his father figure for the better half of his life. And yet something made him almost want to do it; an itching in his fingertips and an incessant gnawing in the corner of his brain. It was almost begging to be heard, wanting the release the feeling of warm blood seeping through his teeth would bring. 

"I don't think you want me to chose between those," Dean hesitated before continuing. "I think we both know where it leads. It's always come right back to this, Bobby. And I can't keep it up anymore." 

"Don't," Bobby started, "not like this, boy, please," he pleaded. 

As if he knew what was coming, Bobby braced himself. Unfortunately for him, two other figures had appeared from behind. As the clouds revealed a brightly shining full moon, four hands reached out and pinned Bobby back and Dean's eyes flashed green; claws growing from his nails before he finally took the last step. 

There wasn't so much as a scream, a strange gargled noise filled with liquid bit deep into his ears, but he just clamped down until it stopped. So the job was done. The hands let the body drop as Dean stepped back and wiped at his mouth, smearing the mahogany blood further into his scruff and skin.

Tongue darted out to catch a drop from his canines that had begun to retract. "I can't believe you actually did it," one of the figures said, darting around the body to reveal a tall, well muscled man. His odd greenish-blue eyes sparkled with some unshed emotion Dean couldn't place.

He had broad shoulders and a unique timbre to his voice that both soothed and annoyed Dean. His long hair, parted slightly to the right looking at him, hung in thick brown waves to his shoulders; bouncing and settling with each step and turn of his head. It was humorous to think of Sam as four years younger than Dean, considering how much more mature he was. 

"It is an unfortunate circumstance," the other said, copying Sam's movements to avoid Bobby's body. He was much shorter than both brothers, only reaching up to the bottom of Dean's chin, but he could hold his own. 

His long neck gave way to wonderfully sloping shoulders. Scruff covered his strong jawline and trailed to an end just below his chin. He looked slim under all the layers of clothing he wore, but Dean knew he was well fed and muscled. The hooded eyes only added to the allure that his proper grammar and olde-time wording gave. And the deep, raspy voice sent shivers down Dean's spine every time he heard it. Maybe because he was afraid, or maybe because he was attracted to it; he wasn't sure. Dean preferred not to think about it, since it only added to his already confusing sense of identity. 

"Alright let's go. Cas, Sam, uhm.... I'd prefer this wasn't mentioned. To me- or anyone- at anytime in the future or otherwise," Dean was leaving them, his voice floating back over his shoulder and finding their ears like whispers in the night. Just barely breezing by and just barely heard, but still, they listened as they followed after him to the dark alleys of the city. 

"Dean, I don't think we should leave the body. I mean, what if someone finds him, you know? What if- what if there were cameras there?" Sam's voice drifted up to Dean, low and urgent and mixed with anxiety. 

"If there were cameras, we'll have a whole lot more to worry about than just the one body, Sammy. Let's just get outta town while we still can, alright?" his voice rose an octave and trembled slightly where it landed. 

Dean could feel Castiel boring holes into the back of his neck, red hot and curling around his ears and firing off in his cheeks. Thankfully Cas couldn't see him in the dark night; he was sure he was blushing. 

"Dean, I think it may be wise to listen to your brother and hide the body," Castiel was at his side. He flinched at the sudden sound, looking over at Cas with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. 

"How about we flip a coin. Heads, we go back. Tails, we keep going," Dean suggested, threw his arms up in exasperation as Cas turned to nod at Sam. He handed Dean a nickel and watched as the werewolf flipped it. 

He caught it midair and then looked down at the silver planted firmly on his hand. "Tails, great, let's go," Dean rushed forward, but Castiel stopped him with a tight grip around his wrist, sending electric sparks up Dean's arm and straight through to his heart. Warmth traveled with it, but in the absolute dark he knew Cas wouldn't be able to see the flush in his cheeks or on his ears. 

"This is what I believe you call, 'heads,' Dean. That would mean turning around and recovering the body to solve the situation," Cas said, still hanging onto Dean's arm as if his life depended on it, knuckles turning bone white. 

"Just forget it, Castiel. Let's just go, and do us all a favor," Sam sounded a bit distant, and Dean knew it was simple because of the blood roaring in his ears at the contact Cas still had. 

"You yourself said we should dispose of the body, why is it suddenly so different?" Cas wondered stubbornly. His radiant blue eyes still held the same bullheaded glint as before, ceruleans racing past sapphires and every other blue in between like ocean wave sliding past another. His eyes revealed every deep emotion that he left unspoken. Every fleeting feeling; Dean caught them all, of course he did. He always would. 

Smoke soared across their faces in blistering swells of icy cold as they breathed - so cold you could burn your hand on the bitter, biting metal. The butterflies in Dean's stomach only grew as Castiel narrowed his eyes and glared at him in harsh defeat. Dean knew it was a ruse, Cas wasn't upset or mad; he was simply annoyed that Sam was no longer on his side.

"Let's go," Dean repeated for what seemed like the fiftieth time, tugging slightly from Cas's grip. Cas dropped his hand away from Dean's wrist, glancing down at the ground and shuffling his feet slightly. 

Dean knew that meant he was embarrassed, he'd seen it before in his friend. Usually when he was around Dean. In Purgatory, before the human, Benny, had carried them both back into the real world, they'd been separated. 

When Dean found him, he'd hugged him, clinging to his desperately as his face contorted into worry, fear, relief, and guilt at finally seeing him again. He'd missed Cas so much. His friend had done it then, after the little-too-long hug. 

Sam walked past them both, leading the way farther into the darkness. Dean turned away from Cas to follow his brother. The full moon made his blood pound through his veins like heavy shoes on rough pavement.

He could smell the overwhelming stench of blood, pressuring his already satiated hunger. The sound of beating hearts found his ears with every person they passed. Dean kept his head down since the blood from Bobby was still fresh and stained into his mouth and right cheek. 

It wasn't long before the three reached the Impala. Dean climbed into the drivers seat, Sam scrambled ungracefully into shotgun, and Cas slid smoothly into the backseat. As Dean started the engine and they raced along the road they all stayed silent and quiet in the car. Tense anxiety stretched over them like a thick, suffocating blanket of unbridled trepidation. 

 

 

A long three hour ride later and they arrived at their main house; they simply referred to it as, 'the bunker.' Dean killed the engine and rested his hands on his legs as Sam climbed out of the car and hurried inside without another word. He looked back at them once before slipping inside, eager to see Charlie he was sure. They would probably be geeking out by the time him and Cas got inside. 

Dean sighed heavily, glancing back at Castiel. "You alright?" he hated the way his voice wavered with worry he didn't want to explain. 

"Yes, of course, Dean. Always," was Cas's too adamant reply. Dean met his eyes in the rearview mirror, squinting to better see the bright blue irises. 

"You sure, man? You know you can tell me anything," Dean pestered him with a raised eyebrow and a concerned sigh. Cas clambered into the front seat to open the door and step outside. 

"I'm positive, Dean. And there is nothing worth telling," he was out now and making his way into the bunker when Dean finally realized what he meant. 

"Hey, Cas? I- uhm.... I-" Dean cut himself off as Cas turned to look at him, the man's cheeks a little more flushed than usual. He couldn't find it in him to get the words out. "Never mind," he said softly. 

The werewolf watched as Castiel's gaze zeroed in on Dean's eyes as if he were trying to decipher what he'd wanted to say. Not that he'd ever tell Cas, because to be honest, he wasn't sure what he'd meant to say either.

The bunker door opened and Sam waltzed out, looking frantic. "So get this!" he exclaimed quickly, hurrying to grab Dean's arm and pull him in, gripping tight. He copied that with Cas, tugging them both inside without further explanation. 

Charlie stood from her place at the table, her shining auburn hair bright in the dimly lit room. High cheekbones gave way to beautiful features, lustrous green eyes sparkled happily as she grinned at them. Her lips were full of color and curved up even higher once she noticed Cas. 

This was her favorite form to take, and since she was a shapeshifter she oftentimes switched back and forth between this one and the other woman she liked. That one had dazzling blue eyes and stark black hair. She demanded they call her Hannah in that form. 

"Hey, you mind telling us what the hell's goin' on?" Dean growled out as Sam forced them both to sit down and then went to stand by Charlie's side. 

Charlie practically squealed as Sam sighed and turned the computer around to face them. "This...is what's going on," he told them. 

Dean's eyes widened and he heard Cas take a sharp breath, quick and needy. "Oh god," Dean whispered raggedly, as if his voice was giving out and he couldn't get enough air. 

"Is that even possible?" Castiel wondered as he raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly. Charlie nodded quickly and grinned like a wildcat, her green eyes glittered with mischief. 

"Of course it is! So let's go and see if it's really him," she pleaded gleefully, practically racing to the door already. Dean stood up, sighing.

"Look, Charlie. We don't even know for sure if this is real, alright? It's better to just wait and see if anything else comes up that's similar," he said as fast as he could without stumbling over the words. Charlie seemed to deflate as he spoke, making his heart ache. 

"Dean is right, Charlie. We should not assume that simply because this happened means that it is indeed him," Cas agreed with Dean, nodded along to his statement. Sam crossed his arms tightly over his chest, rolling his eyes with stubbornness.

"But, guys! Come on! We could actually... I mean, this could be a thing, right? Can't we just go and make sure?" Charlie begged as she came back to stand beside Sam and placed her hands on the table to steady herself. 

"Charlie, what if it's a trap?" Sam finally spoke up, siding with Dean which he was pleasantly surprised about. Charlie threw her hands up in frustration and crossed her arms with stubbornness. 

"You three are impossible," she huffed incredulously before sauntering away. Dean rolled his eyes at her comment, turning to head off to his own room where he could finally get some peace and quiet and relax with a good book by Vonnegut. 

 

 

Not long after he'd opened the book to his page, Cas knocked on his door with urgency. He didn't even bother waiting for Dean to answer before he was barging in. "Dean, Sam found something else," he told him breathlessly. Like he'd run to tell Dean the news. 

His cheeks were slightly flushed too, and when Dean stood and patted his arm once, the color deepened even more. "You alright there, buddy?" he wondered absentmindedly as he followed behind Cas. 

"I am well, Dean. No need to be concerned," his words were rushed and choppy- like he didn't want Dean to know what he wanted to really say. It only succeeded in making Dean more curious than ever. Maybe if he could just see into Cas's mind, just see what the wolf wanted to say, it would make everything so much easier for the both of them. 

Unfortunately, that could never happen. Nothing with Cas was ever easy, Dean knew that; he just wished he could break through the barrier the other werewolf had set up so he could.... Do something. He wasn't even sure why he wanted the walls to come down, just knew that he wanted them gone. 

"Dean?" Cas's hand at his shoulder broke the spell he'd been in, and he looked over to find a very worried Cas. Dean silently wondered how long Cas had been calling his name. "Are you listening?" his tone darkened, gaze hardened and he looked away as they continued walking. 

"Yeah, I'm....not really, Cas. Sorry, man, I can't focus right now. I feel too- I don't know- tense or something," Dean said noncommittally, shrugging despite the fact he just wanted to cry. No need to be a wimp about the fact that he was tired or stressed. That wasn't Dean, that would never be Dean. 

He'd spent his whole life with a dad that constantly told him crying was for prissy girls, fags, and cowards. And while Dean was sure he was none of those things, he'd still cried for a while after he'd been told that. Which only made him feel worse because his father made fun of him for it every damn time. 

"I understand, Dean. Perhaps Sam and I can be of assistance in relieving you of your stress and tension?" Cas suggested, making Dean's heart skip a beat at the implications of him helping the stress leave. Without Sam, of course. 

"Not sure I really trust Sam with that, but- uh- sure, Cas, sounds fine," Dean couldn't get over the way his voice wavered and lilted as he rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. Hopefully Cas hadn't noticed, but of course he did. He always did.

A, "So get this," interrupted any more of Dean and Cas's conversation as they looked over to see Sam holding his laptop and making his way over to them. He held the computer awkwardly in one hand, scrolling down the page he was on with the touchpad. 

"There were more, Dean. In the same state, different towns though. It looks like he's coming toward us, man. He's changed directions, he even avoided the three towns we've worked cases in on the way," Sam's voice was rising with both excitement and fear. 

"Ok, man, calm down. It's gonna be alright. Hey, look, uhm, just take Charlie and go make sure it's him. If it is, then....bring him back," Dean calmed him down with a pat to the shoulder, and then removed his laptop from his arms. 

Sam nodded before turning away, calling Charlie's name as he made his way through the bunker. Dean set Sam's laptop on the table, sighing before shutting it with a small, hallow click. 

When Sam finally came back, Charlie was in tow, heading up the stairs with bouncy steps and a wide smile. "We'll be back when we figure out if it's him. I'll call," Sam told him before he closed the metal door. 

"We could ease your tension now, if you'd prefer?" Cas broke the silence that followed. Dean nearly choked on air at the brutal bluntness of his friend's words. 

"Yeah, uh, sure, yeah, that....that sounds good," he agreed with a smile that gave nothing away. He wasn't one for feelings and crap like that, so of course he wasn't going to admit anything to Cas. 

To be completely honest, Dean wasn't exactly sure what he had with Cas. There was one incident where they'd held hands for a few minutes. In Purgatory, many years ago. And it didn't even really count by relationship rules since they had to in order for their souls to properly transfer into Benny. 

And once, when Sam left, they'd admitted some kind of feelings between them, and it had almost lead to a kiss. But, Dean managed to fuck that up too when he chickened out, laughed about how gay they sounded, and then proceeded to take everything he'd said back; as a joke. Cas hadn't had a real conversation with him for almost a whole week after that.

After Dean had finally worked up the courage to apologize (badly, he might add), Cas had given him a tight hug. And then they'd spent the day just laughing at their bad puns and about how they needed to cut Sam's hair while he slept. 

It was weird, Dean knew that. He just didn't want to admit anything, even to himself. He didn't want to think about how every time Cas smiled, it made his heart flutter. He definitely didn't focus on the attractively messy bed head he'd wake up with every morning, grumbling about how early it was as he made himself a cup of coffee. Dean sure as hell didn't notice the way his svelte, deftly moving fingers worked as he wrote or did anything really. 

"Dean, would you prefer to do it here, or in your room?" Cas wondered innocently. Dean though, Dean was blushing furiously as he lead Castiel to his room, making sure to stay ahead so he couldn't see his flaming cheeks.

Cas sat Dean on the floor, and he stayed cross-legged on the bed. He ordered Dean to scoot back until he was pressed against the mattress, and then he reached out and started massaging Dean's shoulders.

The feeling of his fingers pressing into his skin set Dean on edge. It felt amazing, Cas had always given good massages, but this was somehow different. He dug his fingertips in hard, hitting an especially tough knot that made Dean groan in slight pain. Cas eased up a bit, apologizing. His breath was so close to Dean's neck that it sent shivers down his spine each time he spoke. 

As Cas kept rubbing and stretching and pulling, Dean leaned back into his touch as his shoulders loosened and all tension left his neck. He let out a sweet sigh of happiness, allowing his eyes to fall closed. 

Without warning, there was an elbow between his shoulders blades, massaging circles into his sore muscles. "Oh, God, Cas," Dean felt his face flush again as the words involuntarily slipped out in a flurry of sounds he didn't think of. 

His head dropped forward as Cas went back to rubbing at his shoulders, causing a small groan to escape from Dean's mouth. 

"Are you in pain?" Cas's hands stopped, and Dean felt a smile prick his lips. 

"No, Cas, that means it feels good," Dean answered without hesitation. He turned to look over his shoulder at Cas, to find him looking a bit confused. 

"Do the girls you stay the night with give you massages too?" Cas's voice was innocent and calm, but Dean jumped up and stepped away from him. 

"No," he finally managed to say. 

"But, you make the same noises then as you did just now, do you not?" Cas did that thing where he squinted and tilted his head ever so slightly, making butterflies race through the pit of Dean's stomach. 

"Look, just- just drop it, Cas. It's not the same thing," Dean looked a bit upset now. Cas stood up and reached out, pulling him back to where he'd been. 

"You're tense again," Cas, clumsy as he was, tripped as he walked backwards, falling down onto the bed with his hands still latched firmly to Dean's shoulders; meaning Dean tumbled down with him. It was straight from a damn rom-com.

They landed with Dean on top, bracing himself with his elbows on either side of Cas's head. They were mere inches apart, just breathing each other's air and staring into each other's eyes. Cas seemed to press his head forward, closer and closer to Dean. His eyes closed slightly, but before anything could happen Dean jumped away and helped him up. 

"No need to massage my shoulders anymore, I think," he said quickly, flashing Cas a grin. He didn't realize he'd clutched at his side as he stood, pain flaring up from his lower back. 

"You're hurt. I'm sorry, I should have been more careful, Dean. Let me take care of that," Cas helped him lie down on the bed and then he was literally climbing on top of Dean to get in a good position. 

"Cas, get off me," Dean snapped, harsher than he'd meant. Of course, that meant Cas stalled in his movements, and he moved off of Dean to sit beside him instead. 

"My apologies," Cas's voice was quiet and tense, making Dean sit up beside him. He could faintly hear the bunker door opening, but couldn't make out any footprints or voices. 

"I- uh, I didn't mean to be so.....uhm, harsh. I know you're just tryin' to- help, Cas," Dean sighed and ran a hand down his face, not meeting Cas's look as he rested his chin in his hand. He didn't even know what the hell he was saying, but it felt right. 

"I understand, Dean. It's too.... "Gay," right?" Cas's voice took on a new tone, dark and annoyed. It made Dean sigh. 

"No, dude, you don't understand. You know I didn't mean that like that, Cas," Dean was trying to remain calm despite the overwhelming urge to kiss him senseless. Plus, a knock at Dean's door made them both break apart and he reached to open it.

"I realize you don't feel the same, Dean. I know. Even if you did, you wouldn't tell me, because that is not the kind of person you are, I'm aware of that as well. The simple fact is that I am not included in your world, and I have found that I no longer care about that. I still feel the same, even if you never did," at Cas's words, Dean's hand stilled. 

"Cas-"

The door opened and Dean reared back before it could hit him, running into the front of Cas who'd frozen in his place. Once Sam came in, Dean was trapped with his entire body connected to Cas's in nearly every spot.

"Oh, wasn't aware that I would be interrupting anything," Sam had a wide smirk on his face, making Dean shove him back to unglue himself from Cas. He ignored the heat that had built in his stomach, choosing instead to focus on the brunt force with which Sam pushed ahead of him to lead them. 

"So was it him?" Dean asked, perfectly aware of Cas's presence just behind him. He could almost feel the intensity of the wolf's gaze at his back, boring even more holes into the already flushed skin there. 

"Yeah. He's here, actually. Main room, but that's not what I came to get you two for," Sam's voice filled with some emotion Dean couldn't place. Worry, or maybe fear?

"What is it you wish to share with us?" Cas spoke up from behind Dean, sending a warm puff of air through his hair as he breathed. Which also made Dean realize how close they actually were. Did they always stand this close? 

"Not me. Charlie wants to tell you two something," Sam answered mysteriously. Dean and Cas exchanged a look of confusion as Sam stopped in front of Charlie's room. "Here, she's in there," he pointed his thumb over his shoulder and shrugged slightly.

As he walked away, Charlie's door opened and she yanked them both inside. "I was right, guys, it was him!" she exclaimed happily. 

"Sam told us," Dean informed her and she turned to look at him. 

"I know, Dean. I was just gloating, dude, chill. Ok, so, down to business now. I found something out about you dumb werewolves," Charlie grinned widely as Dean sighed in annoyance, rolling his eyes, crossing his arms, and shifting his weight to one leg. 

"Found something?" Castiel raised an eyebrow in wonder, tilting his head at her. 

"Oh, yeah. Dean asked me to look up if werewolves can be mated to-" 

"Ok, so tell us what you found," Dean interrupted her before she could get any farther. Charlie frowned at his demanding tone. Cas even managed to elbow Dean in the ribs playfully, smiling slightly as Dean grunted in surprise and rubbed at the ache. 

"If werewolves can be mated to others of the same gender, is what I was going to say. Anyway, I found out that they can, but they have to go through this long process involving something called a Blood Bond, along with a sacrifice, and then you'll have like this profound bond or something like that, it's a little archaic," Charlie shrugged and closed the book she'd grabbed. 

Dean felt more than saw Cas turn his head to look at Dean, shock and surprise in his eyes. However, Dean absolutely refused to even glance Cas's way. 

"Nice work, Charlie. You figure out all that, I'm gonna go talk to him and then take a nap," Dean left the room. He didn't look back, mostly because he was deathly afraid to see Cas staring at him with that concerned and puzzled look. 

He made his way to the main room, sighing heavily as he looked up and smiled. As he stood, Dean realized just how small he really was. His dark hair fell flat into his face, deep bags under his eyes made his already dark skin darker, and his smile seemed too empty.

"Heya, Kevin. How you doin,' man?" Dean grinned and pulled him into a hug. Kevin patted his back, burying his face in the crook of Dean's neck. 

"I'm exhausted and I need of a long shower, but otherwise, I honestly think I'm ok. How've you been?" Kevin pulled away to look up at Dean, his eyes narrowed and thoughtful. They flashed a honey brown before changing back to normal. 

"Good, great, even. It's nice, getting back in the swing of things after being away from it so long," Dean admitted happily and Kevin nodded in agreement as they just shared the silence. 

There was a clatter from the kitchen that made them both freeze before heading toward the sound. They found Cas in the middle of a pile of pots and pans scattered everywhere, most of them adorned his legs and framed his sitting posture before he finally stood in embarrassment.

"I was trying to make breakfast," he told them softly. 

"Cas, it's like three in the afternoon," Kevin reminded him. Dean tried to keep his eyes off of him, staring at the pots and pans surrounding him instead. 

"I'll clean up. You two go....do whatever," Dean waved them off. Cas seemed almost reluctant to leave, but considering Dean wouldn't even look at him, he didn't find it hard to go. Dean picked up each pot and pan, setting them up where they belonged in cabinets and on shelves. 

It didn't take too long, and since Cas had left the room he didn't get distracted. In fact, he preferred it like this; quiet and empty, so he didn't have to focus on anything except what he was doing in that moment. 

It was nice to be able to do meaningless work after a hunt. He realized now he hadn't taken a shower, which meant he probably still had blood stained on his mouth. As he set the last pot up, he turned to take a nice, hot shower. Except that Castiel was standing in front of him now. 

"Thank you for cleaning," he told him gently. Dean nodded slightly, giving him a tight smile and a breathy chuckle as his eyebrows raised. 

"No problem, Cas," Dean seemed a bit nervous all of a sudden, but he knew it was because of himself. 

"Are you ok, Dean? You seem unwell," Cas squinted and stepped closer to him, looking over his face for answers. Dean nodded, laughing shortly as he stepped around Cas and through the door. 

"Fine, Cas," he finally replied, his back turned to Cas so he didn't have to look at him. 

"Did you really ask Charlie to research the mating rituals for same sex werewolves, Dean?" Castiel's voice went quiet, the air seeming to swallow his words and eat them before they could get to him.

Dean didn't answer his question, just slipped out of the door and to his room once again. Castiel sighed, shifting his gaze from Dean's back to the kitchen floor. 

 

After Charlie had told them each separately what the steps were, they finally came to talk to each other again. First was to wipe their slate clean and absolve themselves of their problems. Dean had finally managed to take a shower, letting the hot water drip over him for what seemed like hours.

Dean apologized for not telling Cas what he'd asked Charlie, Cas had forgiven him. And Castiel had admitted to Dean that he'd been feeling left out and worthless thinking Dean didn't want him. Dean assured him that wasn't true. 

The next step was to admit the feelings they had. Cas had no problem telling Dean that he loved him, possibly always had. 

"Cas, I, uh, I don't know if I can do this," Dean said nervously. He'd taken to rubbing at the back of his neck. "I mean," he paused, looking anywhere but at the intense look Cas had been holding," I just, yeah, I feel the same." 

"Dean, you gotta take this seriously, bro. It'll only work if you're completely honest," Charlie snapped quickly. 

"Well, it'd be a hell of a lot easier if you weren't here!" Dean exclaimed in a rush, hating the way his cheeks heated up under her gaze. 

"Fine. But don't come crying to me when it doesn't work because you can't tell him the truth," Charlie said, standing up and walking away with a flick of her hair. Dean sighed and turned back to Cas. 

"Cas, uhm, I.... I just want to say that whatever the hell happens tonight, I-I-I will still l-love you," Dean mumbled softly, stumbling over his words. Castiel smiled at that, pleased that his werewolf had finally admitted to his feelings. 

Something stirred deep in his stomach, but he payed it no mind. "What's next?" he asked. At the frantic look Dean gave him, he presumed he had no idea either. 

"Charlie! What's the next step!?" Dean finally called, waiting for a reply. The redhead bounced in, looking slightly disappointed that Dean hadn't come to her bawling his eyes out.

"Kissing, some sex..... Oh, then the Blood Bond and sacrifice. Which will happen in the morning, apparently," Charlie shrugged at her bluntness, smiling at the flustered way Dean floundered underneath her and Cas's gaze. He was red with embarrassment, cheeks and ears flushed so deeply he could've been used as a stop sign. 

"We have to-" 

"Mate. That's what it says, I swear. Mating for werewolves is sex, man," Charlie interrupted him before he got any farther. Dean rubbed at the back of his neck and sighed heavily. 

"Can't we like, save that 'till later- or something?" he asked sheepishly, avoiding either of their looks. 

"Gotta go in order. Sorry, Deano. I'll leave you two to it," Charlie waved and then seemed to skip away as she exited the room. Dean leaned roughly against the sofa, looking down at the floor. This wasn't something he'd been expecting, much less to actually go through. 

He'd admitted his feelings (although timidly), so why wasn't that enough for the damn spell? Dean avoided looking at Cas, the tension between them sprouting and growing heavier as the silence dragged on and on. 

It seemed they were fine staying quiet in the company of each other, but Dean was anxious. His fingers twitched and his leg started shaking up and down with an nervous energy. Castiel moved to stand beside him, leaning against the couch as well with his arms crossed over his chest. 

"Dean?" he was the first to break the weighing silence. Dean didn't answer and Cas let out an involuntary sigh in reply. "Can we at least talk?" 

"I'm tired, Cas. God, I don't know what the fuck I wanna do," Dean's voice was filled with weariness, his eyes drooping as he scrubbed a hand down his face. As if that would chase the frayed nerves and bleariness away.

"I see," Cas answered simply, his eyes narrowing. 

"It's not you, dammit, Cas," Dean said as quick as he could. He hated the grating tone and harsh way his voice moved through the room. 

"I'm aware that this has nothing to do with me, Dean," Cas said this on a sigh, like he was breathing life into some unsaid phrase he wanted to hold onto. They were cast back into quiet, breathing and the soft rustle of fabric on fabric the only sound. 

Dean didn't like the silence, never had. It sent his mind fluttering in thought and oftentimes he would overthink and end up an emotional mess. 

"Do you....wanna just go to my room or somethin'? We could actually relax there, at least," Dean suggested. He wasn't sure why he'd said it, but for some odd reason it felt right. Cas agreed, and they both walked to Dean's room with a few exchanging smiles and light touches of the backs of their hands as they brushed together. 

And, although they are both nervous and extremely uneasy with the whole situation, they enjoyed the company and soft, gentle way they moved together as one. Blood Bond and sacrifices followed the next morning, and they were officially a mated pair in every creatures eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut simply because I also post this on my Quotev, and since I've already been working on this for weeks, I didn't want to add anymore. Possibly smut in the next chapter.


End file.
